Radio Cheese

Remember the Cheddar Wireless? It had a button you could press & a slice of cheese would emerge like a fax.

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‘And now the cheese headlines: dodecahedrons supplant rhomboids as nation’s favourite cheese shape.’

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I don’t think it was real Cheddar, and it only worked during the ‘comedy’ programmes.

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‘A word from our sponsors: Generals! Cheese caltrops have been scientifically proven to slow down the dreaded charge of the Giant Sumatran Rat Cavalry.’

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You’d never get away with the hot setting now, on which melted cheese would pour out onto your carefully-positioned toast.

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‘Tonight on “All our Wensleydales”: how early Cheese Scrabble sets were often made from Gorgonzola, with the blue veins forming the letters.’

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I had a friend from Lancashire who claimed you received different cheeses by region: I wonder if that could be true?

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