Living On The Sun

Of course, when we lived on the Sun, the great problem was shoes. You needed the correct leather to walk on the surface and it was expensive.
*

You could burn through ten or eleven pairs of shoes an hour, just walking to the shoe shop and back. The shoe shop owner was the Sun’s richest man.

*

Apart from the darkmonger, that is. Darkness was a very valuable commodity on the Sun, and they sold it in hatboxes.

*

You had to put your whole head in the darkbox, and, lo! it was night. Of course, the darkness would leak out, which is why space is dark.

*

They said the shoe shop owner had a whole dark room, and he kept a bed in it, and would just go and lie down whenever he wanted it to be night.

*

People ask: was it very hot living on the Sun? But of course, if that’s where you live, you just jump in the suncream canal and swim!

*

The best thing was there was no time. They kept trying to import ‘sunproof’ watches, but they would just melt right off your wrist.

*

When we moved to Earth the other children called us ‘Krinkle Kids’ because of the skin corrugations, but backed off when we breathed ‘fire’.

*

They didn’t know we had hot breath lungs for outdoors and cold breath ones for indoors! It was sad when we finally coughed the hot lungs up.

*

What did we miss most? The good old Grilled House where you could just slap a steak on the wall or fry an egg on the floor…

*

I remember when the Sun Librarian wasn’t looking you could throw books out the window and they would instantly vapourise. I feel guilty now.

*

In the instant that a book vapourised, every letter would turn to gold and be indelibly marked on my memory – I never read so intensely again.

*

My favourite thing was Sunspotspotting: no-one knew where the next one would appear, but every eleven years we’d throw forks into them for luck.

*

The intense magnetic field which had generated the sunspot would cause all our forks to form a single giant fork, hovering.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s