The Kafka Beetle in ‘Smash It Up! Smash It Up!’

As it had for the past seven mornings, the Kafka Beetle noted that the park was full of tape measures all snipped off at about seven inches.
*

There was a new hoarding over the ice rink: ‘Start every day with a bowl of Puck Scratchings topped with fresh elk milk!’ The Beetle thought, ‘Why not?’

*

The slogan on the Puck Scratching packet was a little odd: ‘Smash all busts of Napoleon everywhere!’ But the Beetle thought, ‘Why not?’

*

On the back was Puck himself dressed as a hockey player, saying, ‘Many plaster busts are maniacally convinced they are busts of Napoleon anyway.’

*

There was something more-ish about Puck Scratchings but the Kafka Beetle couldn’t put its antenna on what it was. It certainly wasn’t the taste! 

*

This seventh packet said, ‘Snip up all socks everywhere with pinky shears! Death to socks!’ The Beetle thought, ‘Why not?’  

*

But when it looked in its drawers, all its pinky shears had been replaced by pinking shears, ‘You can’t get proper pinky shears any more!’ the Beetle thought.

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