A Timeless Interregnum (feat. Sea Mammoths)

The Ministry of Time has announced the end of Chimeric Summer Time. As ever, before Winter Time begins, there will be a Timeless Interregnum.

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During the Timeless Interregnum, which can have no duration, citizens are warned: although nothing can happen, absolutely anything could occur.

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For this year’s Timeless Interregnum, it looks as though Sea Mammoths have launched their traditional invasion on the eastern beaches.


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Please be aware, although the Sea Mammoth invasion is always popular with tourists, they will stomp on your brains and eat you if approached.

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They may look like normal elephants, but millennia beneath the waves have caused these mammoths to lose their hair and develop Wrinkly Trunk.

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Wrinkly Trunk is a maddening condition which can only be relieved by bashing people on the head with mallets then stomping on their brains.

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Fortunately, as soon as Winter Time is declared, as in the last Chimeric Ice Age, the cold will drive the Sea Mammoths back into the depths

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The Wasp-Duck Illusion

A misunderstanding regarding ‘les droits des ducs‘ means nobles have been fucking ducks for years, leading to the phrase ‘Lord fuck a duck’.

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Duck-fucking remains popular with the gentry due to their tiny genitalia, caused by centuries of inbreeding, and is one cause of platypuses.

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It remains unclear why in the early 18th century the Needledick-Bugfücker dynasty pronounced itself utterly opposed to les droits des ducs.

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This was around the time of the Plague of Human-Headed Wasps which caused misery and destruction across Chimerica chewing things and gossiping.

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Everyone remembers the high-pitched, whiny voices of the Human-Headed Wasps, even people who weren’t born at the time, or were already dead.

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Apparently the exact note struck by their irritating little thoraxes could pierce time itself, driving people mad centuries before and since.

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The Ministry of Time, established after &/or before the Chimerican Revolution, had to make time a millisecond thicker to cope with all those wasps.