Colossal Squid Skeleton Warning

Colossal squid skeletons, held together by electro-ectoplasmic threads, have been washing up in their thousands on the shores of Chimerica.
Their pliable bones glow and shift in the small hours. Pengo-police units have been dispatched while the Grand Exorcist is being located.


Mutant kids: do not touch the colossal squid skeletons or poke them with sticks! That bolt of energy may trigger your Final Transformation!


It has come to our attention that people have been removing giant luminous suckers from the squid corpses, and sticking them to their heads.


While their leprous bioluminescence is certainly a boon to cyclists, it should be borne in mind that cranial haunting is a genuine risk.


Numerous incidents have been reported of the possessed riding their bicycles straight into brick walls, off cliffs and through shop windows.


Once attached, the suckers cannot be removed and will eventually eat through skin and bone. Victims jabber in the voices of drowned sailors.


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