Colossal Squid Skeleton Warning

Colossal squid skeletons, held together by electro-ectoplasmic threads, have been washing up in their thousands on the shores of Chimerica.
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Their pliable bones glow and shift in the small hours. Pengo-police units have been dispatched while the Grand Exorcist is being located.

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Mutant kids: do not touch the colossal squid skeletons or poke them with sticks! That bolt of energy may trigger your Final Transformation!

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It has come to our attention that people have been removing giant luminous suckers from the squid corpses, and sticking them to their heads.

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While their leprous bioluminescence is certainly a boon to cyclists, it should be borne in mind that cranial haunting is a genuine risk.

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Numerous incidents have been reported of the possessed riding their bicycles straight into brick walls, off cliffs and through shop windows.

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Once attached, the suckers cannot be removed and will eventually eat through skin and bone. Victims jabber in the voices of drowned sailors.

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