Future Juice

1 Daft Days

‘This is a Ministry Of Time announcement: welcome to the Daft Days between Chimeramas and Hogmania. Please be aware the Daft Days may last several decades.’

It is estimated that the amount of Future Juice consumed in the Northern Territories during the Daft Days could permanently destabilise Time.


Mmm, delicious Future Juice, proven to cure historicitis in nine out of ten time travellers!


‘Every year, following Hogmania, it takes longer for the clocks to start up, as though Time itself is hungover,’ says a Ministry spokesthing.


Ministry officials, such as The Keeper of the Magnetic Key, have woken up hundreds of years away, and have had to be retrieved at public expense.


Without the Key, which is attuned to Magnetic Northern Time, no clocks in the Territories know in which direction to tick, with dire consequences.


Those of us who, like members of Hawkwind, have got stuck travelling ‘sideways through time’, understand the importance of Magnetic Northern Time.

2 Time Grooves

Future Juice is distilled from clepsydrae recovered by xenochronicitous drunkelews: droplets from the time grooves have strange properties.


Attempts to make Future Juice in grandfather clocks have driven ‘Juiceleggers’ mad: Big Bill Backwards once ended up with sixty distinct eyeballs.


‘I could see ma future n past n all their variations at one n the same time,’ Big Bill explained. ‘Jest for once, everythin made nonsense.’


‘Course, when the Juice wore off, I’d no idea which eyeballs I was left. Been a bone a contention between me n the “Real Deal” ever since.’


Attempts by the Ministry of Time to regulate Future Juice’s potency seem doomed: 8-25yrs is fairly dependable, but not in which direction…


Certain Tasters are able to hop great distances into the future by careful blending, but return to the correct present is rare.


Nonetheless, the Ministry is prepared to accept a degree of ‘natural wastage’ for the insights retrieved by true adepts.

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