Future Juice

1 Daft Days

‘This is a Ministry Of Time announcement: welcome to the Daft Days between Chimeramas and Hogmania. Please be aware the Daft Days may last several decades.’
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It is estimated that the amount of Future Juice consumed in the Northern Territories during the Daft Days could permanently destabilise Time.

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Mmm, delicious Future Juice, proven to cure historicitis in nine out of ten time travellers!

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‘Every year, following Hogmania, it takes longer for the clocks to start up, as though Time itself is hungover,’ says a Ministry spokesthing.

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Ministry officials, such as The Keeper of the Magnetic Key, have woken up hundreds of years away, and have had to be retrieved at public expense.

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Without the Key, which is attuned to Magnetic Northern Time, no clocks in the Territories know in which direction to tick, with dire consequences.

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Those of us who, like members of Hawkwind, have got stuck travelling ‘sideways through time’, understand the importance of Magnetic Northern Time.

2 Time Grooves

Future Juice is distilled from clepsydrae recovered by xenochronicitous drunkelews: droplets from the time grooves have strange properties.

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Attempts to make Future Juice in grandfather clocks have driven ‘Juiceleggers’ mad: Big Bill Backwards once ended up with sixty distinct eyeballs.

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‘I could see ma future n past n all their variations at one n the same time,’ Big Bill explained. ‘Jest for once, everythin made nonsense.’

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‘Course, when the Juice wore off, I’d no idea which eyeballs I was left. Been a bone a contention between me n the “Real Deal” ever since.’

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Attempts by the Ministry of Time to regulate Future Juice’s potency seem doomed: 8-25yrs is fairly dependable, but not in which direction…

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Certain Tasters are able to hop great distances into the future by careful blending, but return to the correct present is rare.

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Nonetheless, the Ministry is prepared to accept a degree of ‘natural wastage’ for the insights retrieved by true adepts.

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