Big Bill Backward’s True-Faced Western Tales, 7: Barnacle Bill Backwards Sails Close to the Edge

‘Jess waitin till I sober up enough to be able to get up n fetch me another drink. Boat kin steer itself till then…’


‘Main thing on these “Edge of the World” cruises is not to second guess yore actual edge of the world. Lotta “captains” miss out that way…’


‘Steer em safe past the Maelstrom n don’t lose nobody to the Sirens, they ain’t gonna thank yew for gettin _near_ the edge of the world.’


‘Ifn the bow goes over we kin still go back-a-ways, n if the stern goes over, we wuz pointin in the right direction in the first place.’


‘Folk ask what’s down there n I say I don’t recall: most of it’s fallin so fast n yellin so loud yew can’t hardly point a telescope at it.’


‘One thing I do not like is when Lucifer n his boys start fallin upwards for a prank n singin shanties backwards: that’s bad for business.’


‘Got me a wingéd harpy for a figurehead n she’s chained to my ankle. Reckon I’m good for an abandon shipment even ifn I do pass out cold.’


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