The Avant-Gurnard

Caught that avant-gurnard because its swimming was rubbish. My three year old could swim better than that.
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Caught that avant-gurnard deep-frying people, then wrapping them in newspapers with a scoop of wood chips. Says we’re meant to ‘think again…’

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Caught that avant-gurnard covering the ocean with a photo of the sky so when you looked up you’d think it was the sky. If you were a fish.

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Caught that avant-gurnard trying to write its manifesto with a crabstick on a dab, claiming the really latest thing is Crab Stuckism.

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Caught that avant-gurnard trying to teach Godzilla how to make sushi from Brutalist buildings. Like Godzilla would listen to a fish.

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Caught the avant-gurnard putting up a step ladder that extends from the bottom of the ocean to a rowboat with a pennant that says ‘Breathe.’

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Caught that avant-gurnard signing the other fish on the fishmonger’s slab, then charging a million drachmas per kilo – a pretty good deal!

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