Vote Stoat

Vote stoat, for all your rabbit jugular biting needs! Remember when Chimerica was a nation where any child could proudly bite any rabbit’s jugular.


I remember my grandfather telling me how he remembered how he used to run home from school, grab a rabbit, and bite clean through its jugular.


He’d stand in the little kitchen with rabbit blood dribbling down his chin, the arterial spray hitting the ceiling, and his mother would smile.


‘These children nowadays,’ he’d say, ‘don’t know which end of a rabbit to bite.’ – If you vote stoat we guarantee a stoat in every classroom.


Vote stoat and we promise you bedside stoats, stoats in railway carriages, stoat hot-lines in hotel rooms, stoat-mobiles, floating stoaters.


Stoats in britches and stoat in the hole, rainstoats and stoatal football. We promise a national network of pulsating rabbit arteries.


Remember. Thousands of miles of jugulars suspended at three feet high pumping rabbit blood faster than ever into every home. Vote throat. Vote stoat.


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