Vote Stoat

Vote stoat, for all your rabbit jugular biting needs! Remember when Chimerica was a nation where any child could proudly bite any rabbit’s jugular.

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I remember my grandfather telling me how he remembered how he used to run home from school, grab a rabbit, and bite clean through its jugular.

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He’d stand in the little kitchen with rabbit blood dribbling down his chin, the arterial spray hitting the ceiling, and his mother would smile.

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‘These children nowadays,’ he’d say, ‘don’t know which end of a rabbit to bite.’ – If you vote stoat we guarantee a stoat in every classroom.

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Vote stoat and we promise you bedside stoats, stoats in railway carriages, stoat hot-lines in hotel rooms, stoat-mobiles, floating stoaters.

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Stoats in britches and stoat in the hole, rainstoats and stoatal football. We promise a national network of pulsating rabbit arteries.

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Remember. Thousands of miles of jugulars suspended at three feet high pumping rabbit blood faster than ever into every home. Vote throat. Vote stoat.

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