Coincidences

Kisses and murmurs

share a silence share a noise

they speak they rattle

Glazed bile and water vapour

share a lightness share a heat

they boil and they rise

Sweet dreams and hopes

share a sky share a night

they rise and they evaporate

Inner thoughts and steps

share a rhythm share a voice

they go back and they go forth

Death and oblivion

share a stillness share a cry

that lasts and that hurts

Contentment and fudge

share a bitterness and a lie

rancid and sweet

The sun and the moon

share a time and share a light

they come and they go

Hopelessness and rust

share corrosion share a bite

they go deep and down

Loneliness and mold

share a dampness share a cold

they break down they infuse.

Hope and sunshine

share a light share a warmth

they soothe they enliven

Fraternity and mist

share a continuity share a force

they permeate they flow.

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The Mirror Ark

The Mirror Ark, piloted by Haon, sank immediately with its full manifest of chimeric creatures, all of whom are living there to this day.

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They survive on the ghastly air pumped down to them through the lengthy intestines of the King of Herrings and on the sacrifices of Haon.

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Every year Mrs Haon has fourteen boy children and fourteen girl children, and seven of each must be sacrificed to feed the chimeras.

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The chimeras are all enormously fond of the children of Haon, and weep as he drowns and boils them in the great cauldron.

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The surviving children form the crew of the Mirror Ark. Unlike Haon and his wife, they are not long-lived, and as adults often try to escape.

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The Lobster Bird lays its dreams as giant pearl eggs: often it swallows one of the children of Haon so they can be concealed within a dream.

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The Mammoth Tove then drills a hole in the Mirror Ark so the egg may be released, and the Bee Woman immediately re-seals it with her earwax.

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Over the millennia, the Mirror Ark has been drilled so many times it is more golden earwax than gopher wood, which terrifies and enrages Haon.

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He makes the Minotaur and the unicorns wear lengths of cork on their horns. They twist these off as soon as he returns to his cabin.

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In Haon’s cabin are watercolours of islands painted from the seabed like mountains rising into clouds. It’s his hobby. They are upside down.

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On the slopes of the undersea mountains are cowfish, dogfish, catfish. He has painted them with human legs so they look like ‘real’ animals.

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Because he cannot die Haon gets off the Mirror Ark and walks on the seabed. The pressure flattens him so he’s one dimensional. It’s exercise.

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From above, Haon looks like a man one mile across strolling along the seabed. Shoals of fish follow him in the shape of huge silver dogs.

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While he’s gone, the chimeras all plot mutiny. Mrs Haon sends her informers – two butterflies with silken rabbit’s ear wings – to eavesdrop.

Misfortune Kookies

There is nothing on Earth you’re afraid of – what is the matter with you?

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You were the best thing before sliced bread, Baby.

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If you dig your bearpit deep enough, you will find bears.

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The eyes are more afraid than the ears.

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You won’t tell anyone about the fly hiding out in your shower if you know what’s good for you.

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You already have a whippet. It’s just that you can’t see it.

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Why wear your clown shoes to play keepy-up?

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When the cheese barks, the dentures tremble.

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You were always on my rind – no, mint. You were always on my mint.

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In the heart of the artichoke is a small outboard motor: use it wisely.

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The three-headed rabbit is waiting for you on the moon-drenched common.

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Let the hologrammic space maggot drive the beach buggy of your heart.

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Already as delicious as granola, one day your dog’s earwax will be more valuable than gold!

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Consider yourself Marmite.

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Who ducks the duck? Who shrieks at the shrike? 

Who gooses the goose? Who wrings the wren?

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May the Manatee of Serenity remember to clean your bath afterwards.

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You are never more than six feet away from a Morlock.

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Never keep all your beetroots in one trout.

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Your life will be much easier when you remember to store ectoplasm in a clearly marked container.

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What is this thing called life if, full of care, we have no time to put our neighbour in the woodchipper?

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Mallard is, as the name suggests, bad lard. Break the habit now!

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Manners masketh the man/woman/monster (delete as applicable).

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So you’re the butterfly responsible for all our awful weather with your ‘I’ll just flutter my wings’ shit?

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Only if you count all the leaves on a tree will you be still long enough for us to run away.

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 Just because someone is sitting in a kayak doesn’t mean their arse is that shape.

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 Inside every balloon is a teardrop from space.

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 The muttering bat has whiskers of steel. I repeat, the buttering mat has whispers of eel.

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 Inside every bottle of HP Sauce is a tentacle that dissolves before you can find it, just like your soul.

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 They tell you your plans are pie in the sky, but they aren’t. They’re eclairs in the air.

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 That amazing thing you do with your jaw when swallowing prey: don’t ever lose that!

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 Once you’ve read this, just nod slowly, and we’ll release the Komodo dragon.

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 Don’t listen to the doubters, listen to the Little Dancing Doughnut only you can see.

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 Asparagus is just pencils that gave up.

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 There would be no need to understand the offside rule if people obeyed the best-beforeside rule.

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 All of the money you win from fruit machines is made from real fruit.

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 If you find yourself in the middle of the wilderness take a step to the left – and you’re nearly home!

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 The fact the avocet drinks Advocaat doesn’t mean the tern likes Pernod.

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 Once you have heard the octopus chuckle you tire of making sense of the world.

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 If you give a songbird money it will stop singing and just buy drink.

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 These are not the droids you’re looking for either. Do you even know what a droid looks like?

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 While it’s good to be able to tell your arse from a hole in the ground, there’s no need for expertise.

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 Crucifying pigeons is never ‘cool’.

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 You will surely achieve immortality for that thing you’re about to do with the spatula.

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 Everyone says you’ve got a lion’s tail: now’s the time to prove them wrong!

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 A fortune in diamonds has been concealed in your cat. There are plenty of others the same colour. What do you do?

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 If you tickle fish they will tell you their bank details.

Half made

Made of paper

and comes the rain

and we get wrinkled

and comes the ink

and we say things we don’t really want to say.

Made of paper

and comes the wind

and we go where we don’t want to go

and comes the fire

and we are gone forever.

 

Made of glass

and time goes by

and we melt

and wind comes

and we hiss softly

and we howl the same lament.

Made of glass

and we break in pieces

pieces of sand and time

and we become someone else

someone for each broken piece

made of mist and fog

and we rise up to the sky

floating rivers and evaporating seas

and we are up in the sky

and we fall down and we leak.