The Adventures of Doc Moreau & I, 12: The Klassified Ads

Inarticulate Arthropods! Restricted by clumsy shell ‘mittens’? Free your inner fingers with Doc Moreau’s Patented ‘Crab Gauntlets’!

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‘Now I can grip AND flex!’ says a leading spokescrab. Also suitable for lobsters and giant scorpions!

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Do you need a regular, dependable supply of stainless steel robins? Doc Moreau’s Stainless Steel Robins are guaranteed 100% cat-proof!

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Now available with scratch-resistant breastplates fashioned from the finest Robinium! Can flutter n singe!

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It’s statistically possible that up to one in 10,000 passers by may not be able to tell your Stainless Steel Robin from the real thing. Surely.

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Do you now or have you ever suffered from Ephemerrhoids – piles that appear n disappear too quickly for conventional treatment?

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If so, try Doc Moreau’s Patented Lightning Cream! WARNING: Doc Moreau’s Patented Lightning Cream may contain actual lightning.

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