Shinkystonk

Until you have seen Zombie Fish Fingers crawling down the street like dead n breaded caterpillars you haven’t looked into The Hand Of Horror.

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They can smell an unplayed upright piano from miles away and are compelled to produce undead ‘shinkystonk’ cacophonies.

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‘Shinkystonk’ or ‘Shonkystink’ music was first played by dead crabs on the sea floor upon pianos discovered in the wrecks of Spanish galleons.

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It’s believed the ‘tunes’ of Shinkystonk were telepathically transmitted to dead fish and crabs by necromantic Moon Cicadas.

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Whatever its origins, Shonkystink causes ex-‘hepcats’ to rise from roadsides and writhe in broken-backed delight, wheezing in a parody of breath.

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Mediums wearing haunted crabshell headphones claim to have received Shinkystonk, but efforts to play it inevitably result in smashed digits.

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A record called ‘Shonkystink Favourites’ by one Marjorie Bloater is notorious for causing psychotic reactions in 90% of live hepcat listeners.

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