Until you have seen Zombie Fish Fingers crawling down the street like dead n breaded caterpillars you haven’t looked into The Hand Of Horror.


They can smell an unplayed upright piano from miles away and are compelled to produce undead ‘shinkystonk’ cacophonies.


‘Shinkystonk’ or ‘Shonkystink’ music was first played by dead crabs on the sea floor upon pianos discovered in the wrecks of Spanish galleons.


It’s believed the ‘tunes’ of Shinkystonk were telepathically transmitted to dead fish and crabs by necromantic Moon Cicadas.


Whatever its origins, Shonkystink causes ex-‘hepcats’ to rise from roadsides and writhe in broken-backed delight, wheezing in a parody of breath.


Mediums wearing haunted crabshell headphones claim to have received Shinkystonk, but efforts to play it inevitably result in smashed digits.


A record called ‘Shonkystink Favourites’ by one Marjorie Bloater is notorious for causing psychotic reactions in 90% of live hepcat listeners.


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