Are you my queen?

Chess pieces copulating without regard for rank or colour in the darkness and damp of the Great Maze.

*

Giant pawns impersonating balustrades on high balconies till you lean on them, then sneering as you all tumble, ‘We shall survive the fall.’

*

Going into the important office to renew some license you are confronted by a large seated chess piece. It is a seemingly inanimate bishop.

*

Other people insist your house, which looks perfectly normal to you, is a chess piece. They stand beside you and take a photo: it’s a castle.

*

You look at your house, which is still just a house. You look at their camera – it seems normal. You ask a passerby: ‘It’s a chess piece.’

*

You have a pepper grinder in the shape of a pawn. You suspect it is having relations with a bottle of olive oil. At night you hear grinding.

*

One morning you come downstairs and find eight little glass chess pieces, each full of grass green oil. The doorbell rings. It is a Grandmaster.

*

You can only negotiate the grid of the city blocks by moving like a knight. You waste days in elaborate ‘moves’ to get where you want to be.

*

On your complicated way to work you pass a shop selling edible chess pieces: cheese chess, jelly baby chess, meat cheese, vegetarian chess…

*

One set is crustaceans versus fish. Pawn prawns, of course, a king crab. But the ‘fish’ team is a mix of shell-fish and cephalopods: you complain.

*

The shop owner is the same Grandmaster. ‘Everyone else likes it,’ he says. ‘It’s freshly prepared every morning and flies from the shelves.’

*

‘I was born in this quarter,’ you say: ‘I don’t remember all this chess.’ ‘There’s always a strategy,’ he says. ‘This is your middle game.’

*

You sit in the park where the chessboard tables used to be. Each has been crushed as though by a giant foot. There’s a crashing in the trees.

*

You ask: ‘Am I the player or the piece?’ ‘How many moves can I think ahead if I don’t know how many pieces there are?’ ‘Are you my queen?’

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s