Footbull: Chimeric Rules

The national sport of Chimerica is ‘Footbull’: 11 nervous men who can only use their feet versus one angry bull – kicking just makes him madder.


Fatalities are common during Footbull as the crowd are armed and not usually inclined to allow the team to leave the pitch before midnight.


The only way the humans can score is if they kick the bull in the bollocks without being injured: each goring counts as a point against.


The victorious bull is put up in the best labyrinth in town and wears the decapitated heads of two members of the losing team, one on each horn.


Each game of Footbull is preceded by a ‘Running with the Person’, in which the team captain is pursued through town by 500 angry bulls.


Despite the short lifespan of Footbull players, Chimerachismo means there’s always another oaf ready to don their team’s blood-spattered jersey.


Those surviving five years of professional Footbull are granted pensions in the Church of Holy Bullshit where they get to milk retired bulls.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s