Radio Cheese

Remember the Cheddar Wireless? It had a button you could press & a slice of cheese would emerge like a fax.


‘And now the cheese headlines: dodecahedrons supplant rhomboids as nation’s favourite cheese shape.’


I don’t think it was real Cheddar, and it only worked during the ‘comedy’ programmes.


‘A word from our sponsors: Generals! Cheese caltrops have been scientifically proven to slow down the dreaded charge of the Giant Sumatran Rat Cavalry.’


You’d never get away with the hot setting now, on which melted cheese would pour out onto your carefully-positioned toast.


‘Tonight on “All our Wensleydales”: how early Cheese Scrabble sets were often made from Gorgonzola, with the blue veins forming the letters.’


I had a friend from Lancashire who claimed you received different cheeses by region: I wonder if that could be true?

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