Just Because

Just because octopuses can squeeze through keyholes is no reason to squander every penny paying them to do so.


Just because cryogenically frozen earthworms can be hollowed out and used as straws is no reason to use a pencil to do so.


Just because moon rock can be fashioned into strange grey dentures is no reason to break into Space Museum and steal enough to do so.


Just because lettuce can be a soporific is no reason to dress up in a cardboard ‘caterpillar’ outfit and go and lie in the garden.


Just because money can be used to buy pies was no reason to rob that bank with such a grotesque and pointless loss of life.


Just because mammoths will cluster helplessly around a naked flame is no reason to bring them back from the sweet oblivion of extinction.


Just because we can perform the world’s first duck-to-platypus beak transplant (and vice versa) is no reason for a telethon to raise funds.


Just because we can replace all the penguins in the Antarctic with ants does not justify such an act of misplaced pedantry.


Just because we can train monkeys to sit on giraffes’ heads and twiddle the levers doesn’t mean they’re in control of the giraffes.

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