Just Because

Just because octopuses can squeeze through keyholes is no reason to squander every penny paying them to do so.

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Just because cryogenically frozen earthworms can be hollowed out and used as straws is no reason to use a pencil to do so.

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Just because moon rock can be fashioned into strange grey dentures is no reason to break into Space Museum and steal enough to do so.

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Just because lettuce can be a soporific is no reason to dress up in a cardboard ‘caterpillar’ outfit and go and lie in the garden.

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Just because money can be used to buy pies was no reason to rob that bank with such a grotesque and pointless loss of life.

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Just because mammoths will cluster helplessly around a naked flame is no reason to bring them back from the sweet oblivion of extinction.

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Just because we can perform the world’s first duck-to-platypus beak transplant (and vice versa) is no reason for a telethon to raise funds.

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Just because we can replace all the penguins in the Antarctic with ants does not justify such an act of misplaced pedantry.

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Just because we can train monkeys to sit on giraffes’ heads and twiddle the levers doesn’t mean they’re in control of the giraffes.

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