Bond Villain Valhalla

We are indebted to Mousebreath for this image: http://mousebreath.com/2013/01/steampunk-feline-transport-system/

We are indebted to Mousebreath for this image

After his death, Dr No became Dr Yes & wrote motivational haiku advising us ‘vote YES to yr u/niverse!’ He made 1 million drachmas on the lecture circuits.

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Rosa Klebb learnt from Wolverine how to fire daggers & shuriken from every digit & toe. She ran away to join Evil Circus.

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All the Blofelds formed an OK doo wop group, then in a smart shift of direction released Northern Soul versions of Bond themes. They sold 1 million records.

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The Donald Pleasence Blofeld claimed his cat came up with the idea, but the Telly Savalas Blofeld hotly denied this.

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Post-mortem, Goldfinger metamorphosed into an airborne Deepstaria enigmatica and billowed round searching for sunsets. He would then glom up against the undersides of shivering, reluctant clouds.

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Oddjob became a poetry buff and would manifest at readings as a levitating hat or a small bear made of night.

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Actually, he became the constellation Ursa Minor but with all his orifices clenched so none of the stars could shine.

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In Bond Villain Valhalla, Scaramanga began to sprout golden nipples. He sold these by mail order for 1 million drachmas per nip.

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Jaws metamorphosed into the Sharktopus he had always wanted to be in the films or dreams of Roger Corman – he didn’t care which…

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Red Grant, Max Zorin and Raoul Silva clubbed together to buy ‘Eulalie Freres’, a lingerie empire which had a great success with a range of spray-on undergarments known as ‘World of Moan Foam’. They each made 1 million drachmas.

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BROKEN NEWS: Just heard that the Charles Gray Blofeld has left The Blofelds due to cat diet differences – a sad day! Keep the faith.

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