The Ballad of Everythink


Then we arrived at the Forest of Everythink, where all the thinks people thought of as their own were shepherded by wise Onts.


In the heart of the Forest were the Nurseries of Half Thoughts, where the Onts looked after the thinks people were too stupid to finish.


The canopies of Everythink were loud with the chattering troops of Really Bad Ideas, and the endless tuneless racket of the Mememebirds.


At night in Everythink, the eyes of Banality Bats glittered too close together & we heard the thunk of their skulls hitting tree after tree.


Our spirit guide, Bluenose, showed us the Stumps of Creativity: slope after slope of ruin. ‘Listen to the chainsaws of the Ont!’ he crooned.


Then we visited The Exciting Jungle of Theory, which was a two foot square bonsai maze: ‘Nobody get to heart of maze because nobody fit in!’


Beyond lay the ancient weeping darkness of the Brainforest. The Onts begged us not to proceed: ‘Nobody knows they don’t know nothing there!’


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