Soup Monkeys

Soup monkeys are to soup as gremlins are to aeroplanes: when you’re not looking a green paw will arise in the midst of your soup and add too much salt.

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Sometimes, gazing into your gazpacho, you think you see your own reflection, made bumpy by veg. But no. It is a Soup Monkey, staring back.

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Soup Monkeys have the power of autotomy and, if startled, will leave a tail neatly coiled in yr soup bowl. Touched by a spoon, it dissolves.

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You may think those are wontons, floating in your soup, but, when you glance away, the eyes of Soup Monkeys open and regard you coldly.

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Burnt soup is caused by the skin of Soup Monkeys’ rumps being pressed to the bottom of the pan as they seek out heat like Japanese Macaques.

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Soup Monkeys’ fur is actually composed of psychoactive fungal strands: putting your soup in a blender will merely facilitate their ingestion.

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You can send off for packets of instant Soup Monkeys and grow your own colonies! See the ads at the back of any edition of Kimerical Komix.

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